This post borders on self-absorbed
reflection tangential to Chelsey’s recovery – skip it if you just want an
update.
I reread the earlier post about
oversharing pain (Ain’t Nobody Want to See You Naked), and I already disagree
with myself on some points (schizo tendencies may run in the family!). I realized
that I have gained tremendous value from reading several other blogs about
dealing with difficult situations. I don’t want those other blogs to end just
because the authors feel like readers are weary of their tales of woe – far from
it! I’ve gained insight about aspects of the authors’ lives besides their
hardship, which I would not have learned without the hardship providing a
window. I’ve learned about myself because of their open sharing. I don’t hold
their enduring discomfort against them or define them narrowly in terms of
their hardship.
There simply needs to be balance. It’s
not the nature or duration of the hardship that makes somebody an energy
vampire, it’s the approach to dealing with it. Is there humor? Is there courage or positive insight involved?
Does the storyline include compassion and some outward focus, or merely gloom and self-absorption?
Sharing hardship can be framed in ways
other than inappropriate psychic nudity. Sharing hardship is like a window into
another’s life. The life is bigger than the window, and the window allows
access and illuminates. Sharing hardship is like a facet of a diamond – it’s
just one aspect of the gem that happens to be glittering in the direct light
right now.
I think the blog is a great balance of sharing without being too intrusive or being an energy vampire. You answer questions that I might not know to ask, or might have been too shy to ask. I also like that you have processed the experiences and are able to share them with some of your own personal insights attached. The blog has been a great way for me to feel connected to you both. It's been for me, as a shy person, a comfortable way to understand what you are experiencing without having to analyze my own responses in a conversation. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Andrea. That's the same way I feel about the other blogs I mentioned, particularly the idea of processing stuff that probably wouldn't come up in conversation with a shy person like me. But I prefer to think of folks like us as "reserved" or "thoughtful" or "contemplative" rather than SHY :)
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